It has been a few weeks since I've arrived in place where the hot weather never ends and the only scenery to be found is grass. I have been uninhibited in my plans, because I have almost no schoolwork to destroy my time with. I suspect my professors think we all have the intelligence of small rats, for the only work we seem to have requires about as much brainpower as running on a wheel. I prefer it that way. It gives me all the more time to plot.
I thought it would be fun to poison the food in the cafeteria and make it completely inedible, but it seems someone beat me to the punch. I am fairly certain that it is mostly synthesized from plastic and dull food coloring. I couldn't have done it better myself.
Still, this charade of being a normal citizen is wearying, and I enjoy my brief respite during the weekends, when I can head over to a certain apartment which is the base of my operations. This life is not taxing to me morally, mentally, or physically, but it can be a bit trying socially. Not many people here share my love for destroying everything. It is a shame. But I guess taking over the world is usually an endeavor carried out by one who has no one else to burden himself with.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Saturday, August 4, 2012
My Plot Unfolds
I know that no ones reads this anymore, and that may just in fact be because it has been dead for so long. That, my friends, is all a part of the plan. You all thought this was the ghost town where a ninth grade student once dwelt, talking of nothing in particular and writing mostly to amuse herself. But that is where you would be so terribly WRONG. Now that young, immature girl has grown into a young woman, heading off into the great unknown with a minivan of essentials. Now begins her quest to take over the world.
Kansas seems a strange place to start. It is bland, unnoticable, and fields upon lonely fields of swaying wheat come to mind, rather than the looming, glow-in-the-dark cities where most world takeovers seem to take place. But that is exactly why Kansas is the PERFECT place to start. No one suspects a world domination plot to start in Kansas unless the Wicked Witch of the West is about, and as far as I've heard, she's been dead for quite a while.
To start off my looming and gargantuan task, I have compiled a short list of everything that needs to be done for PHASE ONE of my plan.
1. Acquire empty mayo jar.
2. Fill with vanilla pudding.
3. Start eating it with a knife as roommate walks through the door for the first time.
4. Acquire baby picture.
5. Put it in a prominent place on desk.
6. Tell everyone who asks that it is your baby you had to leave at home.
7. Acquire empty Windex bottle
8. Fill with Gatorade.
9. Proceed to drink in public.
10. Acquire tweed smoking jacket (and a cool smoking hat).
11. Smoke pipe in style.
I may update you later, I may not. I suppose it doesn't matter to you because you aren't reading this, but I shall post more only so that future generations may hear of me, google me, and find this, and discover how they, too, can take over the world.
Kansas seems a strange place to start. It is bland, unnoticable, and fields upon lonely fields of swaying wheat come to mind, rather than the looming, glow-in-the-dark cities where most world takeovers seem to take place. But that is exactly why Kansas is the PERFECT place to start. No one suspects a world domination plot to start in Kansas unless the Wicked Witch of the West is about, and as far as I've heard, she's been dead for quite a while.
To start off my looming and gargantuan task, I have compiled a short list of everything that needs to be done for PHASE ONE of my plan.
1. Acquire empty mayo jar.
2. Fill with vanilla pudding.
3. Start eating it with a knife as roommate walks through the door for the first time.
4. Acquire baby picture.
5. Put it in a prominent place on desk.
6. Tell everyone who asks that it is your baby you had to leave at home.
7. Acquire empty Windex bottle
8. Fill with Gatorade.
9. Proceed to drink in public.
10. Acquire tweed smoking jacket (and a cool smoking hat).
11. Smoke pipe in style.
I may update you later, I may not. I suppose it doesn't matter to you because you aren't reading this, but I shall post more only so that future generations may hear of me, google me, and find this, and discover how they, too, can take over the world.
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